“Old piss” they told me the other day. Strong. It was on X. Twitter for those of us who do not accept the change that Elon Musk wanted to make when he bought it. But enough of my beating around the bush.
“Old piss” seemed like a LOT to me. Vieja almost doesn't bother me at all, because it seems like a pretty important achievement for someone who has no intention of dying like me, but piss?
The “piss” hurt a little. Are you calling me “piss” to my insolent asshole? And when I'm about to answer him hot, I remembered that just the night before, walking with my son down the street, I peed a little. And it's not that I'm proud of having done it,
but above all the truth
. And I know I'm not alone in this. I also remembered that not so long ago, something similar had also happened to me walking with my little son down the street. I didn't know what to do, we were in a fairly "package" neighborhood, full of super top buildings, but without a measly little bar nearby. I began to feel that
new and strange sensation
of not having “complete” sphincter control. I considered the possibility of doing it in the little tree, but it seemed like a somewhat indelible memory for my little son, and I also thought about everything I had tried so far to raise him with a certain sanity, and I didn't
want to throw it all away so quickly.
. I tried to hold on. Although I couldn't help but tell him at one point "I'm pissing myself off." He, poor thing, told me: “No, mom, please.”
“Calm down, son,” I replied, and the thing about the little tree was ruled out.
It was a valiant effort not to give up as a mother, nor as a citizen.
Then a brilliant idea occurred to me, which was to ask a security guard of one of those top buildings in Buenos Aires to let me enter the bathroom of the SUM or the GYM, or some “amenity” of those super top buildings. I used my little son as an excuse and wanted to warm him with a “poor thing, he can't stand it,” and I ran to the bathroom he showed me, which had toilet paper on top, a feat that we women know how to value, because it doesn't always happen. Everything went well, and thank the Lord, I was free from my own son considering me an “old piss.”
It must be said, at a certain age it is something that begins to happen:
accompanied by a sneeze, a jump, a loud laugh, it can happen.
Because there is a certain control, which is beginning to not be so controlled it seems.
And then I also remembered that last year they had called me to be an “influencer” for an
adult diaper
brand . And I thought “how crazy the passage of time:
Dalia: "There is something about my age that I love."
"This same company called me two minutes ago to do monologues talking about baby diapers, and in the blink of an eye they want to hire me to talk about urinary incontinence."
I acted young and told them that my time hasn't come yet,
and I got a little indignant.
But it seems that now I can be. I confess that I found it more glamorous to be considered a MILF, but it seems that times have changed and I belong to this new category.
In case you haven't heard yet, the term "old piss" is being attributed by "young people" to ladies who have (we have?) some characteristics: For example, the other day I wanted to watch the Guillote series on a platform and they could
n't. I didn't know how to find it, what control to use to put it on, or what button to touch
... And when I was finally able to find her because “for ever she was stubborn”, I couldn't see well because she couldn't find her glasses. Bah, I found some, but they no longer work for me because they are from a couple of years ago, and now I am much more shortsighted than ever. And when I was almost resigned to watching the series all "blurred",
I realized that I had them on my head,
and I thought that maybe the Twitter brat might not be so wrong. On top of that, when I wanted to tell a friend about the series, I couldn't remember the name of any actor, and I started doing those Mrs. Gagá reviews: “Eeeese, the one who had acted in the 2x4 Suar movie or something like that, and who He had also done the Pope thing” and all those labyrinthine references that are made to refer to people whose names our neurons cannot remember.
And I'm starting to wonder: That I LOVE going to Zumba is also old piss? For me, going to Aquagym beats it by a landslide. I didn't go see Luismi, but I did see Ricky Martín, and I shouted “Ricky I love you.” I hardly know the protagonists of the gossip of the moment “the passionate romance of XTR and Mica Marcus” who sooooo? And when you go to their social media profiles, they have 86 billion followers each…
Am I officially part of the old pissing club with what I'm saying?
Honestly, I have no idea. What I know is that
there is something about my age that I love.
Could it be that I don't care so much about being called an old piss? What fun does it have for me to have come this far, to have experienced so many things, to have made so many mistakes and to have learned from my repeated little mistakes?
Young man, tell me what you want. Because at my age I rub my hands to respond with height, without fever or inexperience getting the better of me. I hope you arrive like this too.