Children are not small adults. Nevertheless, it happens that we unconsciously treat them as such. Sometimes we expect things from them that they are not yet able to fulfill. They usually lack the mental maturity to do this, as children only learn many important social skills gradually. In order to prevent unnecessary frustration and anger, we should question some of our unrealistic expectations more often.
#1 Control yourself
Younger children are not yet good at dealing with disappointments. They do not yet have the cognitive maturity necessary to regulate their emotions. They also lack strategies for dealing with strong feelings. That's why anger and frustration can sometimes build up quickly and erupt into a full-blown tantrum. In such moments it is important that parents have patience and can tolerate frustration. By the time they start school, children should have learned a certain level of frustration tolerance.
#2 Share with others
Owning things is an instinct. Sharing has to be learned and that requires empathy. A child must be able to imagine how another child or himself will feel, depending on whether he shares or not. The better this ability is developed, the more generous the child is when sharing. A new study by researchers in Munich has shown that children as young as 18 months are able to feel compassion for others. This ability continues to develop, especially over the course of kindergarten. Then sharing works better and better.
#3 Don't be so loud
The voice is part of every person's personality. As soon as children discover their voice, they test it out. Babies babble, babble and become loud. Controlling your own volume is a learning process. Children are often made aware of this in daycare and kindergarten. But when playing at home, consideration is usually quickly forgotten. And that's actually nice: after all, it's the expression of pure joy.
#4 Go slow
Doctors know children need a lot of exercise. Running around and running is just as vital to them as eating and sleeping. Slowing them down inhibits development and the little ones have less and less confidence in themselves. One study even showed that helicopter parents raise children to be sedentary. That's why we should all let our children run, romp and scream more. The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends that children and young people between the ages of 5 and 17 get at least 60 minutes of physical activity every day, and a little more exercise in everyday life doesn't hurt us parents either.
#5 Don't dawdle like that
It is completely normal for small children to not yet have a sense of time. They can't do anything with information like "We have to leave in 15 minutes." Dawdling children can't go any faster because they live in the here and now. So they don't understand why they're being rushed. It becomes particularly difficult when there are sudden changes in the situation: for example, when you have to leave home in a hurry in the morning and go straight from breakfast to kindergarten or back home from the playground. The younger a child is, the more difficult this change is. And for us parents, these are usually the moments when dilly-dallying really strains our patience. Staying calm is simply the best advice right now. It's not until primary school age that they develop a sense of time and, like us adults, understand the difference between different time constraints.